How to raise an Unselfish child in a Selfish world?
Part 1 – The Importance of Mercy
It’s S.E.A. season and I can’t tell you how many times I have to check myself and I wonder if I should push hard for the “good school mantra” or not. We all want our children to do and be their best but can we accept their best to be enough. I look at my child and I see every artistic talent that I have and more, (so much more) how can I deliberately put her in this academic box and then convince her to follow her talents later on.
What do I say: “Just concentrate on S.E.A now and after we’ll change the rules and be different.”
Didn’t it all work out for us, good school or not. Aren’t we living our life in spite of that drama; aren’t we running businesses, excelling in jobs and persevering. I am and I wished I started sooner.
I worry that I am teaching my children to be too competitive, selfish at such an early stage in life, as she tries to fulfill my dreams, she’s becoming a little tyrant, maybe a miniature version of me.
The Power of Mercy
What is Mercy? Compassion or forgiveness shown towards someone whom it is within one’s power to punish or harm.
Each generation molds the next generation and yes, we continued where the last generation started, they transformed the dynamics of the world putting the nuclear family above the village and we perfect it.
We paved the playgrounds because grass was too dirty, we say stay inside and watch TV so your expensive clothes won’t get dirty, we say don’t bother playing with the neighbors children, they’re not like us, watch your tablet instead.
We tell them don’t feed stray animals because they’ll hang around and then we’ll have to feed them everyday.
We interview their friends and say who’s good enough, who’s smart enough, who has enough. We strategically move them away from those type of friends we don’t like to those we do.
We say don’t share your snacks, your lunch, don’t help them with their homework, don’t let them see your answers. We say, I didn’t buy school supplies for you to share with your friends. We tell them not to forgive their classmates, just stop talking to that child, we say. When was the last time we sent our children with something to share with the class for no reason at all. We teach them not to forgive, unkindness and selfishness. They don’t even know what charity means much less mercy. It’s just them and you in the world now and guess what one day they’ll realize you lied to them.
You see children are genuinely merciful, they are born with mercy written in their very being until we push it out of them. Have you ever noticed how they play, they forgive and forget, they share, they cry for each other, it’s astounding and I wish I can tap into that innocence so easily again.
I am selfish and it’s hard to push it down and re-train myself some days, because my reflex is bitch mode. It’s even harder to teach my child the things I know I should, when I’m fighting with myself to retain them. You see, mercy to me is sometimes akin to insanity, I admit it, I scream to the heavens, “You got to be kidding me, really!” at least once a month, and that’s a good month.
Sometimes, I have to admit to her that I was wrong, that she should be kind, she should help in spite of any reservations I may have. She should follow her heart, and begin to hear the voice of God on her own.
You see mercy is more that just kindness, forgiveness and charity, mercy comes from your soul not your head. Mercy says you’ve done me wrong, and I have the right to chastise you but I’ll forgive you and work with you to be a better person. Mercy is categorized as a noun but it’s really a powerful verb, you demonstrate mercy. These days I just say, “God of the universe help me to get this lesson of mercy without it killing me.”
Some days i am convinced that my generation is too long gone, there is so much fear in us to help this world but we can stop and step back and give our children’s generation the opportunity to redeem us all.
Teach your children mercy by showing them mercy, demonstrate by showing mercy to others. If you want your children to understand divinity give them the gift of mercy.
Mercy is fearless.
Mercy is freedom.
Mercy is peace.