This Could Have Been Me

The fear that woman feel is so real, men just don’t have to think about safety like we do. they never think – i shouldn’t be here by myself i might be raped.

I remember my husband taking me up Chancellor hill (a beautiful city view in Trinidad) late one evening on impulse, for a drive he said – i know he was being romantic. He came out the car, left the door opened and leaned up watching the view. I was scared to death and couldn’t come out the car. It was late, we were alone and their was trees all around. He was so relaxed and after a while looked at me quizzically. I said, “come back in here, you not afraid someone will rape you.”

He laughed so loud, he was weak with laughter until he realized i was seriously stricken.

He’s huge, tall and muscular, and knows how to fight. He makes conversation easy with strangers and seems to never be in a place without knowing someone. There isn’t much failing a gun that could take him down so he’s confident with darkness and impulse expeditions. He’s oblivious to my fears and i have to explain that even though i appreciate and trust him, my reality is different.

I am a woman. I do everything i can to be cautious yet everyday i frown at a situation and my heart beats faster than normal. The fear is in me, passing a construction site is a nightmare, men size you up all day and you have to push back or ignore.

It’s exhausting!

I wish safety was a given.
I wish men were taught about women’s fears.
I wish i wasn’t always on alert.

We need a generational shift, not to turn the tables but to equal the playing field.


Critics May Lie

Let me see how I am going to explain this now…

Following the Mayor of Port of Spain’s comments on the death of Japanese national Asami Nagakiya two days ago patrons met on Woodford Square in Port-of-Spain to share how his comments affected them and to protest his apparent unconscious misogyny in a position of authority. I would like to do the same.

I hate to accuse people of indifference but if you are a man you cannot fully understand how the majority of women felt, which is why I was not surprised that so many men misunderstood the outrage, my own father (who is convinced it is a political ploy and the Mayor said nothing wrong) being one of them.

You can sympathise, as many men have. Thank you. Your support is appreciated. Trust me, it is! More than you know, because it means mind sets are changing.


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